Lukestral's thoughts

suits and hats

2008-05-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

Remember the good old days, when all men wore suits? Everyone looked sharp, everyone looked dapper. Now what do we have, kids skulking about in hoodies and tracksuits, men wearing the new "weekend uniform" of t-shirt and jeans non-stop, all looking identical. A return to the days of yore, when all were smart and immaculate, would be so much better. Much more interesting and stylish. A good fitting suit is comfortable too, negating a frequent argument. Plus, a suit can make an average man look great and a great man look amazing, so there's few real downsides.

Another item which needs returning is hats. Not those disgusting baseball caps, but old-fashioned hats which men used to wear. Fedoras, bowler hats and hornburgs could all do with being seen again, as a cool accesory to a sharp suit. Keeps your head warm, your hair in place, and can signify emotions and feelings based on the angle it's worn at.

And walking sticks too. A good cane like contraption, topped in white metal with some form of crest. Could act as a useful weapon against attackers as well as looking good.

2008-05-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

All the bees are dying. This is of course an immensely serious problem, as without bees, we have no honey. And without honey, what will bears eat? And if bears die, then who can we make into rugs? These are all concerns which arise from a lack of bees. Furthermore, without bees it becomes somewhat harder for flowers to pollinate, resulting in less pretty springs and summers. Saving the bees is of the utmost importance, and they must be maintained by any means necessary, whether every person goes out and buys a nest, or catches some and raises them like children. If the bees die out, that removes a huge part of the ecosystem. The consequences are dire. Without bees, plants begin to die out, Then animals. Last of all, at the top of the food chain, is us humans. If we don't save the bees, then we die.

Unfortunately we don't know what it is that is killing the bees. My personal view, they realise that Global Warming is now unstoppable (at about 375 co2 ppm in the air, 400ppm is the point of no return), they are fleeing this planet and heading off into space.

2008-05-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

I live in London, the capital of the UK and one of the largest cities in the world. London has many exciting thrills to offer young people, with sightseeing, the West End and so on. Yet as someone from an Inner Borough, I haven't actually done many of those things. The groups of kids hanging around in the West End? Not me, I'll tell you that now. For whatever reason, my friends aren't too keen on the idea, it only seems to be those from the Outer Boroughs or even tourists who visit that part of London. So the other day, I was around my mate's house, we'll call him John, and we're just chatting and hanging about. Then I say "Hey, why don't we go out to the West End, y'know, hang out there like all those teenagers do?"
"Oh I don't know, it's mainly suburban kids isn't it?"
"Does that matter? It'll be fun! We can do all those sort of stereotypical Londony things!"
"Nah, doesn't appeal"
"Why not?"
"Not enough of us. Would just look gay with the two of us"
"We could invite others?"
"Maybe.."

on the phone.. "hey it's me. You guys up for going into London, seeing all the sights and having a fun day?"
"Piss off, we're not tourists" hangs up

Me and Liam go back to sitting around.

2008-05-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

Time for me to begin drowning my sorrows I think. This once-great city, of which I was proud to call myself a member of, will soon become nothing more than the laughing stock of the whole world. A modern, diverse city, where people of all creeds and race could live alongside oneanother in harmony was suitably represented by Ken Livingstone, a socialist and social campaigner, who did his better to create a more egalitarian city.

However, those in the suburbs (who aren't true Londoners anyway) have elected in a dangerous right-wing buffoon, a man proven to have lied about affairs, a man who was sacked as a journalist for literally making up stories. A man who has been given everything he has ever wanted, without doing any work. A leftover of a shameful, class-driven chapter in our history, a Wodehousian caricature of everthing that is wrong with the Upper Class. An Old Etonian and Oxford boy whose hobbies in his youth involved prancing about in a ridiculous costume and attacking restaurants. A man whose casual racism has spread to equating everyone from Papua New Guinea with cannibalism and referred to Africans as "Picanninnies" with "Watermelon smiles". This man is now unofficially Mayor of London. In this role, I am sure we will have plenty of laughs. The "Gungadinks" with their corner shops, the "chicken eating sambos". All the qualities are present in this man to turn London into a joke, laughed at by the other major cities of this world.

To those in the Outer Boroughs who caused this with their incessant whinging about the Congestion Charage, a measure designed to reduce congestion and pollution, in doing so helping to save the planet, thank you. To those in the Inner Boroughs, we have once more proved ourselves to be far more enlightened and forward-looking, yet we were not enough. The ignorant hordes have won.

Goodnight Mr Livingstone. You served us well. Mr Johnson, I wish you no luck whatsoever.

2008-04-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

It was another peaceful day on Salona Beach in San Diego County. The sun hung lazilly in the sky, basking the people below in delicious hot rays, tanning their skin and keeping them warm. 8 people practiced for a triathlon in the waters, enjoying themselves without a care in the world. For one of these swimmers however, today would be the end of it all.

For the first time in 50 years, a fatal shark attack ocurred in San Diego County waters. Widely believed to be a Great White, the swimmer was clamped legs-first into the shark's mouth, leaving huge bloody gashes in the legs, resulting in a death from blood loss.

This leads me to reports of other deaths from animals. Aside from the ordinary and expected attacks from creatures such as Lions, Tigers and Bears, there is a whole host of different, bloodthirsty animals out there ready to destroy people who get in there way. Hippopotami are famous for killing in Africa. Indeed, they kill more people than any other animal in the continent, with the exception of man. When someone goes out on the water at the wrong time, such as dawn/dusk, a hippopotamus may well be disturbed, charing out of the war, biting the boat in half and dragging the hapless travellers to the bottom of the lake. Thankfully, it isn't carniverous, so will merely let you drown rather than eating you.

Other deadly animals include female mosquites, which have killed at least 45 billion people, or half the amount that have ever died, through a host of deadly diseases, which includes, but is not limited to: yellow fever; dengue fever; elephantiasis; and of course malaria.

Cape Buffallo, with their razor-sharp horns and sheer mass, kill hundreds of people each year. Elephants, those cute grey lumps, kill at least 500 people each year. The Box Jellyfish has killed over 5500 since 1884.

Yet perhaps the most surpising killer animal is the ordinary marmot. Also known as the groundhog, this small, unassuming member of the squirrel family is know to tear apart and consume lost travellers in the mountains. It is beleved that they kill up to 3000 people in Austria alone each year. Of course, this is complete rubbish. Marmots kill in the similar method to mosquitos-by spreading disease. More specifically, Bubonic Plague, better known as the Black Death. All the Plague epidemics that occured in Europe came from Mongolian marmots spreading the disease with travlellers, and of course the Mongol Invaders of the 14th Century. At least 1 billion people have died from Marmots. So the next time your'e in Pennsylvania for Groundhog Day, keep well back from the murdering rodent.

2008-04-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Comrades! To Arms! The Revolution is coming, the Workers are throwing off the shackles of the Imperialist Capitalist State! Finally, those who opress the people will be overthrown, and our new society will arise from the ashes, with all men and women equal as one!

I'm referring of course, to today's National Strike by the National Union of Teachers. Now seeing as teachers are generally middle-class graduate professionals, they are not exactly "The Workers", but will this strike perhaps be a sign that the Government can no longer choose to give out pay rises as they wish, and instead be drawn back to the negotiating table to decide a fair amount? Unlikely. For one thing, it is an independant body which decides the pay rise, not the government. Second, it seems unlikely that a strike will resolve anything. Education isn't a money making operation for the Government-all a strike will do is make kids happy and parents annoyed (although if they direct the anger towards the government, it might help) and as it was only one Union which went on strike, chances are very little will result from this.

However, that does not detract from the true issue behind the strike. Despite 13 weeks of holidays, teaching remains an incredibly demanding profession. It is not easy to face classes of 30 kids every day, dealing with behavioural problems and targets, all whilst struggling on low pay and student debt. Teacher's pay needs to be brought into line with other graduate professions in order to boost both recruitment and retainment. I am entirely sure the country could do with loosing a few lawyers or city banks, and the benefits for society of extra teachers would far outweigh any financial loss to the government. Considering that I am the child of a teacher, I may perhaps be biased somewhat, but it still remains, that teachers play an incredibly important role in the development of the nation's youth. Therefore, they should be rewarded adequately for what they do.

2008-04-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

Now my room seems to have similar properties to an oven, in that it gets boiling every night. So of course, I have to leave a window open. When I woke up this morning, I suddenly found myself a victim of a putrific stink whilst still in my own bed. Disgusting. Of course, I had no idea at the time what it was, and thinking it was my cat, had to search the whole room for the source. On leaving my house, I could still smell it. Getting paranoid now, I checked my shoes to make sure I hadn't stepped in anything, sniffed my clothes and so on. Really scared. Why is that guy looking at me? Do I smell???? Got to the train station..smell still there...oh no it must be me. What do I do? What do people do when they smell this bad?

Get on the train....smells gone. Breath a sigh of relief. Get off at the next station to transfer. Oh god the smell is here too!!! It has to be me. I need to call in sick, take a day off and scrub myself like there's no tomorrow. My friend Liam now comes walking up. I brace myself for an insult as to my present odour. Seeing my screwed up face, he remarks "Oh, I see you can smell it too. Apparently theres a massive stench across London." My face relaxes a little. "You mean to say, it's everywhere? Not restricted to 10 metres around me?" "Yup, everywhere. Don't know what it is though. Maybe something happened to the dump?"
"That must be it, yeah" (change of conversation ensues)

Later check the news. Apparently it's French farmers, spreading manure everywhere and the wind blowing it over. I've said it before and I'll say it again. They still want to invade.

2008-04-13T13:33:00.001-07:00

....And this just in at the newsroom.

It appears a new wave of violence has hit the streets of Mexico. Following on from the well-documented accounts of drug runners fighting police along the USA-Mexico border, with armouries the size of the US Marine Corp's and drug dealers equipped with GPMGs, grenade launchers and SAMs easilly taking care of the underpaid and underarmed police. Now it transpires that on March the 7th 800 people gathered in the city of Quatemero in order to wreak havoc and cause destruction. Their reasons: incited to do so by radio presenters. Their target: Emo kids. Many violent attacks took place, and the violence has since spread to Mexico City, and abroad into Chile. Let us hope that these poor opressed Emo kids can succesfully vent their unhappiness from these attacks on their livejournal, something they almost never do.

2008-04-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

Beer. Beer bellies. Long hair. Leather jackets. All men over 40. Nothing quite like a country and western music live show at a pub to enliven a dreary sunday afternoon. Despite the sheer ropyness of many members of the crowd, the music was actually quite good, particularly the last act. An 82 year old man came on stage with his banjo, and contrary to all my expectations, managed to perform spectacularly well, singing songs on subjects such as how a sheep fell down and hurt it's leg, or something along those lines. Well worth the effort to go, I say.

On a dissimilar note, what is the world coming to? I was on the bus, when a gang of hoodlums board and begin to heckle some poor innocent woman over her choice in clothes. Even by the time I had finished my chapter in the book, no one had bothered to do a single thing.

2008-04-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

Now, we all know that politicians only serve to lie, cheat, and maximise their own game whilst metaphorically (and in some cases literally) screwing the public up the ass. With the upcoming May 1st London Mayoral and Assembly elections now just 19 days away, it is probably high time I decided just who gets my vote. Here's the 4 main candidates:

1) Ken Livingstone. The incumbent mayor. Likes newts and whisky. Reasons to get my vote: already has 8 years of experience as mayor, gave me free bus travel, true Londoner, Labour party. Reasons to not get my vote: been in power for a long time-change is good.

2)Boris Johnson. The Tory candidate. Likes cycling. Reasons to get my vote: entertaing, wants to bring back the old routemaster bus. Reasons for not getting my vote: Tory, frequent gaffes can get too far i.e. the pickaninie one, very right-wing

3)Brian Paddick. The Liberal Democrat. Likes men. Reasons to get my vote: is better able to represent London's diversity, has experience of fighting crime-good for London's alleged "Crime problem". Reasons to not get my vote: seems insecure in debates, and unsure as to what he is actually doing.

4) Sian Berry. The Green Party. Likes the enviroment. Reasons to get my vote: very keen on stopping global warming and reducing emmissions. Reasons to not get my vote: would be wasted vote.

So, to conclude then. Ken will be getting my vote. Not only does he have lots of experience, a necessity for leading a major world class city, but he has lots of policies that make sense. As lovely as the Routemasters were, they were outdated and unsuited for actual use. The congestion charge is great, despite what suburban SUV drivers seem to think (try actually living in London), public transport has greatly improved, and he likes a good tipple. All in all, I quite like him.

Good Night everyone

2008-04-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

The best farm animal ever! These goats, known as Fainting Goats, seize up when surprised, falling on their backs with the legs out stiff and temporarily unable to move!

See more here
http://youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg

Although apparently the name is a bit of a misnomer, as they don't actually faint, maintaing consciusness...

2008-03-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

I just realised that except for a few hours last night, I havent left the house in a week. this cannot be healthy, but perhaps I am developing agrophobia? Anyway, I don't think this builidng has ever been this clean before, or ordered. So some good stuff can come of all this.

In the meantime, Ashes to Ashes is unfortunately over for a whole year. Still unsure as to how I will cope without WPC Sharon Granger on my screen. Nevertheless, I am strong enough to get through this.

Torchwood ends soon too, but thankfully, Doctor Who starts again in exactly one week, 4 hours and 27 minutes as I write.

2008-03-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

I went to a History conference yesterday on the Third Reich. Very informative and interesting, but the true highlight of my day has to be getting to meet Ian Kershaw. For those of you who aren't aware of this man, he is THE foremost historian on Hitler and Nazi Germany. Not only did he sign my copy of his book, but I also got a photo of myself with him. Sad I know, but what can I say? I'm a big admirer of his work.

2008-03-19T12:54:00.000-07:00

Just read in the news today that a mugger tried to rob the Justice Secretary before running onto a bus full of police officers. Now if we can breed all criminals into being that stupid, then perhaps evolution will weed them out and we can live in a safe, crimeless utopia.

In other news, an Australian man has put his life on sale on ebay. For a mere £195 000 you can become a mr Ian Usher, a 44 year old male from Perth, including a complimentary house, car, jet-ski and a job at a rug shop. Any takers?

Wir Sind Helden

2008-03-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many people will have heard of them, they're not very big in the Anglophone world, bit I do adivse people to give them a chance-brilliant band, make some fantastic songs. So go on to itunes(only legal downloads..) and get a few songs. I advise ,,Nur Ein Wort" and ,,Die Zeit heilt alle Wunder"

go on, you know you want to

www.myspace.com/wirsindhelden

www.wirsindhelden.com

An Introduction

2008-03-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

Well hello there, this, as my first blog, will be just a short introduction to myself.

I am an 18 year old student living in the UK, studying History, Politics and German. My interests include reading, socialising, shopping and looking up obscure bits of information on Wikipedia, which is, I must mention, ALWAYS CORRECT! I enjoy Indie and rock music in general, but recently have mainly been listening to German music in order to improve my ear for the language-fantastic language, German. Nice and precise, plenty of phonetic-ness, and I must say I do love those ridiculously long compound nouns.
Anyway, if I knew why I was beginning blogging, I would say. Rather, it just appeared as a sudden urge to change my thoughts I write down on paper into ones that are posted for the the world to see on the Internet. Voyeuristic of myself, perhaps, but why not?

Anyway, enjoy, and I shall post more as and when I do.